Hall of Fame Speech Of Steevo70

At the time of this writing, I am 35 years old. I had my first dip at 17. I had my last 100 days ago on June 25, 2006. Today, I entered the QS Hall of Fame. 3 months ago, I was reading HOF speeches in the archive and wondering if I could be one of the people who made it. I didn’t think it would be possible. After all, I was a professional failure at quitting with an amazing 10 year streak of failed attempts behind me. As I looked through the long list of those who’d gone before me, I envied what they had. I wanted it, but I knew it was too good to be true.

How many times in your life have you seen ‘those people’ and wondered what made them different… why you weren’t up there receiving that award and adulation? Maybe you envied the athlete scoring a touchdown or knocking a home-run in a packed stadium in front of a live national television audience. Perhaps you coveted the winnings of some every day Joe who hit the Mega Millions, or you sat in frustration in a movie theatre, wondering why you weren’t that guy on the screen - kicking bad-guy butt, charming the babes, and laughing all the way to the bank? My life has been full of moments like that. Why can’t that be me?

Well, you know what? I’m now that guy. I made the QS Hall of Fame!

I never thought I could do this. It seems like yesterday that I was sitting outside of a bar and ending the evening sharing a dip with my buddy, Dionnja1. We talked about what useless sacks of doo we were since we could never get more than a few quit days under our belts. Dionnja even said that he just needed to come to terms with the fact that he was gonna die from mouth cancer. Yeah… we were desperate. He told me that his friend quit with this site. Since I was really ready to quit, I decided to look it up. I remember reading all of the articles, staring at the cancer pics, and eventually finding the community section! That was the life saver! Copewquittin was the first to welcome me… and Cliffy!

I guess I’ll say a little about how I got through just in case any newbies read this. I called a friend who is a doc and had him prescribe some wellbutrin for me. The directions said to take it for a while before quitting, but I quit the day I popped the first pill. It made me feel kinda foggy and loopy for the first week, so that was a nice distraction. I really didn’t feel like I had the rage or major craves that others were describing. I did get depressed though, that first week! Seriously down!!! I thought about weird shit too, like shooting myself. Don’t worry, these thoughts only crossed my mind for a few seconds, and I had read that some folks actually experienced suicidal thoughts while on it. As a result, I expected this in a way, so it wasn’t too tough to deal with. It was just depressing. Of course, it might have been all the time I spent staring at the cancer galleries to reinforce in my subconsious mind the consequences of continuing to dip. After a few more days, I got all of the other side effects and dumped the medication on day 9. I couldn’t take it anymore. The stomach pain was killing me. BUT… it got me through the first 9 days!

By the second week in my quit, it seemed mostly mental until I was hit with awful withdrawal headaches. If it weren’t for the guys in my group experiencing similar things, I would have gone to see a neurologist to find out why my head was trying to explode. I actually had to lie on the couch and put ice packs on my head. Worst freakin’ headaches I ever had. I think I suffered through 3 or 4 days of that crap. By day 22 or so, I was smooth sailing for a while. Doldrums hit after 50 days. That sucks bad so be prepared. Once again, however, the group prepared me. This is really one of the keys to making it through this thing… knowing what to expect and planning for it! That’s the experience the vets and your fellow quit brothers in your group bring to the table!

Now, speaking of brothers… I am a Cohesive Unit! October 2006 Hall of Fame Class. I love all of these guys… and of course, our two little sisters. But I have to tell you, it’s a real family. Sometimes we laughed. Other times we argued. Sometimes we wanted to kill each other. It goes with the territory, but one thing I can say is that the quit always took precedent over our silly little squabbles. Of course, my posting while drinking didn’t help any of those situations, but hey… I learned a few lessons and grew closer to a great bunch of folks. In the end, it made this journey incredibly special. I’ve PM’d and chatted with most and spoken on the phone with a few. From Hawaii to Canada to Texas to the Northeast to my own hometown, I have one big Cohesive Family. And I am very thankful for that. These people, because of their struggle with the can, know a part of me that most people in my life don’t. I just can’t describe how strange yet wonderful that is. When you go through this thing, you’ll know what I mean.

As much as I hate to single people out for fear of leaving someone out, I am going to do it anyway, but every member of the Cohesive Units made this possible for me. There was just no way in hell I was gonna come back to them and post a cave… and believe me, I thought about it many times! So here goes…

Dionnja1 – thank you for turning me on to this site and saving my life. I always enjoyed dipping with you and now we’ve quit together (which rocks way more)! I’ll never be able to thank you enough. Nygel36 – I love your hard ass attitude. Thanks for the PMs and that one phone call when I needed it the most. You rock! Now get my surfboard ready!!!! Citizen Robespierre – Thanks for all of the very long PMs. I can’t list all of the topics we covered, but I wish you were my neighbour so we could tilt a few and philosophize into the night. Stacy Clark – You are the man! And we ARE gonna tilt a cold one in February! I can’t wait!! BluegrassSaint – My running mate and pace man! ForMyKids – Thanks for the phone calls and for getting me to do the right thing! Quittincopesux – for threatening to hunt me down and kill me! LOL! I’m a much nicer guy as a result and I no longer drink and post!!! SBTZC – for the irreverent humor! Shep and Kid for positive and kind words! You guys are class acts!!! Lobo because he rocks and has my favorite avatar! Of course who could forget Russter, Gi Kea and Malibu! These guys posted half the content on the site, so thanks for always giving us something interesting to read! And Chewie. Thank you ever so much for your kind spirit, your twisted mind, and for hooking us up with one seriously awesome site! And thanks to the rest of the team (Ignatius, Geep, J.P., Docman, Kevin, Larry, Worm, fatguy, Hydranthead, Jim, Brett, drew428, and Dinkshooter) who posted roll, responded to questions, bared your souls and made this journey possible and down right enjoyable! And by the way… GK, I’m still kickin’ your ass when I see ya! You know I love ya bro. We’ll tilt one back too one day, when Malibu takes us for a ride in or behind THE Malibu! (It’s a boat, you dirty bastards!).

To all of the vets who shall remain nameless… thank you. You know who you are. You herded us like sheep until we graduated to join you in the hall of fame. Thanks for the perspective and love, both sweet and tough!

And thanks to Who Dey for the best damn Hall of Fame speech I ever read!

Last but not least, Matt for QS, and Flavius Victor for the boards. You guys have my deepest respect and thanks!

I'm free, guys. I couldn’t have done it without all of you.

I’ll see you on the second floor!!!!!!!!!

Steevo